In between Dog and Mind.
Hello Out There Online World.
So here I am again. My plan for this blog was to write about the Addison Service dog, as I had mentioned in my first blog and since then, many sought a blog about the topic ... If I can get myself pulled together and get it done, as well as talk to the dog trainer and ask if she might be willing to write a bit about it too ... But today it is mostly about my mental mood.
I dived COMPLETELY down in the dumps yesterday ... Actually really nauseous feeling, because I was in an all right mood, I just could not stand my own company. I just wanted to sleep and dream (while sleeping there's no pain) but on the other hand it bothered me just as much to 'just' sleep instead of taking part of real life... These kind of days comes occasionally. They are so hard to explain. But yesterday however, was extra bad. My husband and my son know that on those days, they shall listen and look after me and otherwise just nod and agree in what I say and do.
The best I can do for myself is to go to bed and sleep it away, because usually the next day its completely changed. One of my major problems with my illness is that I can’t get a thought to turn into action. I.e. I can sit here in the living room and think, I'm thirsty and I should go and get something to drink. But it just isn’t happening and two hours later I still sit in the living room thinking; I'm thirsty. There could be a fire in my home and I would sit and think, I need to get out of here ... but I would be seated. It's actually a very scary feeling, because you understand very well that you have to get your butt out of there, however you just can’t... The body do not understand it ... I imagine that it only can be compared to if one is paralyzed ... Some call it a * brain fog * ... it’s actually a really good description of it.
There is quite foggy on the top floor. ;)
There is quite foggy on the top floor. ;)
I have an incredible will to live; I simply refuse to give up on this disease ... Why? Well, that can be answered very simple; Because I am a Mother.
I did not put a child into the world to destroy his world by removing his mom from it... I find it very hard to fight for *Lisbeth* but it’s really easy for me to fight for Frederik's Mother... She can pull teeth I’ll tell ya...
When I chosed to have a child despite my pain problems, it was very well thought thou and I was well aware when I chose to say A then B may come, no matter how hard it may be.
I have a place, a job and that is to be the best mother for my child as I possibly can be, as long as I can get permission from life to do so.
When I was pregnant I said very convincing (especially to me) that I would NEVER let it affect my son that I was sick. Never... Never... Never.... But we gotta be careful about what we think about something we have yet to try. It is unavoidable that it will affect him somewhat. For example, he has to check with his friends whether they are sluggish, before they are allowed to come here. People who are rather sluggish, is unfortunately not welcome before they feel better because something like a simple flu virus, or common cold could eventually take my life (but then I’ll have to be extremely vulnerable and unfortunate).
I prefer to keep me away from sick and sluggish people. Funnily enough, I almost never infected by Brian or Frederik. Maybe it's because we live together and share the same bacteria. I don’t know...
For our son to not suffer from the fact that his Mother is sick, then you need to take some precautions and do things like a normal family might not even dream about doing. A couple years ago Brian and Frederick went on holiday in Mallorca, together with a friend. I stayed at home. I knew that I would be a hindrance if I came along, so I decided that it was more important to me that my son got a good (physical activity) holiday, just as he had wished, with a lot of memories about exactly what he would like to see and do, rather than if I was there too, it would mostly be quiet and calm and nothing similar to what he wanted...
I am a very different Mom. I'm not there for the PTA meetings, I do not know all his friends. I don’t know all the names and faces of everyone in his class (forget unfortunately very easy because of my medication) BUT I am the mental accessible Mother as is a shortcoming in today's stressful world. I ALWAYS have time to talk, ALWAYS time to listen, I am here ALWAYS he has never had to question me.
All this would never work if it were not for my husband Brian.
He is the most wonderful person I have ever met.
He's the sweetest husband a woman could wish for and the most amazing father, a child could get. I am feeling blessed every single day for him.
Today we have known each other for 18 years, so we have reached another milestone in our lives. The plan is that in two years from today, we will have a church wedding .. We are already married civilly, but I really want to give my father the experience to lead his only daughter up the aisle, and yes everything else that comes with a church wedding. I myself am believer (in my own way) Brian is not a believer and we have chosen to accept that at this point we are different and what Frederik choose must be up to him.
But 2017 its time for a church wedding. So now I have a new goal to reach.
Last year I had chosen, if I only I could keep myself alive and upright to get through Frederik's confirmation. After the confirmation, I felt a certain kind of emptiness, for what goal did I have now? But there are goals enough to choose from.
I take one year at a time, it will be necessary for this disease, I can’t schedule things e.g. that I am going to have a dog in 5 years, as I have no warranty for me being here by then, such plans are concise in my world...
To tell briefly about the Addison Service Dog;
I had heard that it was possible to train a dog to respond to me before I got sick. I knew that it is possible, because my old female cat warned me when I was getting sick. In the beginning we didn’t understand what she was trying to tell us, but as time went on, we discovered that she caught my signals before I got sick. She was not a cozy cuddle cat, she did want to cuddle, but only on her terms. When she responded to me, she almost hung on me like a piece of really chewed gum. She sat on my lap (even when we ate dinner), she lay under my duvet in the arm, meowed at me constantly nudged me, got in my way and there was no doubt she was trying to tell me something..
When we discovered what she was telling me, and once we learned to listen to her, I will claim that she has saved me from a few Addison crises and hospitalizations, I would even go so far as to say she saved my life...
Unfortunately, she left us at a very young age, she was only 6 years old when one evening she threw large amounts of blood.
She was rushed to the hospital but died the next day's morning.
RIP Mussemor and thank you for life.
I have a sweet friend in Belgium, who also has Addison's disease, she has a Addison service dog, Narnia is her name and she is a wonderful support for my friend .. Narnia has her own Facebook page where you can follow her...
Link to Belgians first Addisons assistant Dog
Narnia →
When I was pregnant I said very convincing (especially to me) that I would NEVER let it affect my son that I was sick. Never... Never... Never.... But we gotta be careful about what we think about something we have yet to try. It is unavoidable that it will affect him somewhat. For example, he has to check with his friends whether they are sluggish, before they are allowed to come here. People who are rather sluggish, is unfortunately not welcome before they feel better because something like a simple flu virus, or common cold could eventually take my life (but then I’ll have to be extremely vulnerable and unfortunate).
I prefer to keep me away from sick and sluggish people. Funnily enough, I almost never infected by Brian or Frederik. Maybe it's because we live together and share the same bacteria. I don’t know...
For our son to not suffer from the fact that his Mother is sick, then you need to take some precautions and do things like a normal family might not even dream about doing. A couple years ago Brian and Frederick went on holiday in Mallorca, together with a friend. I stayed at home. I knew that I would be a hindrance if I came along, so I decided that it was more important to me that my son got a good (physical activity) holiday, just as he had wished, with a lot of memories about exactly what he would like to see and do, rather than if I was there too, it would mostly be quiet and calm and nothing similar to what he wanted...
I am a very different Mom. I'm not there for the PTA meetings, I do not know all his friends. I don’t know all the names and faces of everyone in his class (forget unfortunately very easy because of my medication) BUT I am the mental accessible Mother as is a shortcoming in today's stressful world. I ALWAYS have time to talk, ALWAYS time to listen, I am here ALWAYS he has never had to question me.
All this would never work if it were not for my husband Brian.
He is the most wonderful person I have ever met.
He's the sweetest husband a woman could wish for and the most amazing father, a child could get. I am feeling blessed every single day for him.
Today we have known each other for 18 years, so we have reached another milestone in our lives. The plan is that in two years from today, we will have a church wedding .. We are already married civilly, but I really want to give my father the experience to lead his only daughter up the aisle, and yes everything else that comes with a church wedding. I myself am believer (in my own way) Brian is not a believer and we have chosen to accept that at this point we are different and what Frederik choose must be up to him.
But 2017 its time for a church wedding. So now I have a new goal to reach.
Last year I had chosen, if I only I could keep myself alive and upright to get through Frederik's confirmation. After the confirmation, I felt a certain kind of emptiness, for what goal did I have now? But there are goals enough to choose from.
I take one year at a time, it will be necessary for this disease, I can’t schedule things e.g. that I am going to have a dog in 5 years, as I have no warranty for me being here by then, such plans are concise in my world...
To tell briefly about the Addison Service Dog;
I had heard that it was possible to train a dog to respond to me before I got sick. I knew that it is possible, because my old female cat warned me when I was getting sick. In the beginning we didn’t understand what she was trying to tell us, but as time went on, we discovered that she caught my signals before I got sick. She was not a cozy cuddle cat, she did want to cuddle, but only on her terms. When she responded to me, she almost hung on me like a piece of really chewed gum. She sat on my lap (even when we ate dinner), she lay under my duvet in the arm, meowed at me constantly nudged me, got in my way and there was no doubt she was trying to tell me something..
When we discovered what she was telling me, and once we learned to listen to her, I will claim that she has saved me from a few Addison crises and hospitalizations, I would even go so far as to say she saved my life...
Unfortunately, she left us at a very young age, she was only 6 years old when one evening she threw large amounts of blood.
She was rushed to the hospital but died the next day's morning.
RIP Mussemor and thank you for life.
I have a sweet friend in Belgium, who also has Addison's disease, she has a Addison service dog, Narnia is her name and she is a wonderful support for my friend .. Narnia has her own Facebook page where you can follow her...
Link to Belgians first Addisons assistant Dog
Narnia →
Well… I found out that by getting a dog, and getting it trained just for this purpose, sounded really exciting and just right for me. It was probably more a dream I had, and that it could actually turn into reality was not so much in my thoughts as the idea itself...
I wrote a long letter to a dog trainer that I found online, and she wrote back that they had actually started with a lot of preparations for an association which would support training Service and Social Dogs for people like me or people with PTS, etc.
It took half a year of searching, and then I saw this little piece of cute fur online, I was so in love. Fenton was his name, he was of the breed Selyham Terrier, a really calm and relaxed terrier type.
Fenton had first to be checked and approved by the dog trainers, before I could get him, but he passed with flying colors and moved in with us on a Friday midday.
Fenton was wonderful.
Even towards the cats he behaved exemplary and everything was actually purely idyllic, just except me (i.e. my health).
I did put (of course) Fenton's needs before my own, especially since he was still a puppy, and it resulted on a Tuesday I went into a Addison crises (only 5 days after Fenton arrived).
I had simply not the strength and effort to have a puppy that was dependent on me. It went fairly well the other days as Brian and Frederik was there to help me, but when everyday life began with school and work and I had to be home alone with the dog and my health. I was putting *something else* before my health, made it all fall to pieces.
I have to lie down to sleep / rest when my body asks for it. But if you have a small puppy standing in front of you, begging to go for a walk, then ofcause I will go for the walk. That’s logic.
It made me having to realize that I could not do all that at that time, as I was also enormously bad fysically, I had problems standing and walking and I overworked my body infinitely ...
Even towards the cats he behaved exemplary and everything was actually purely idyllic, just except me (i.e. my health).
I did put (of course) Fenton's needs before my own, especially since he was still a puppy, and it resulted on a Tuesday I went into a Addison crises (only 5 days after Fenton arrived).
I had simply not the strength and effort to have a puppy that was dependent on me. It went fairly well the other days as Brian and Frederik was there to help me, but when everyday life began with school and work and I had to be home alone with the dog and my health. I was putting *something else* before my health, made it all fall to pieces.
I have to lie down to sleep / rest when my body asks for it. But if you have a small puppy standing in front of you, begging to go for a walk, then ofcause I will go for the walk. That’s logic.
It made me having to realize that I could not do all that at that time, as I was also enormously bad fysically, I had problems standing and walking and I overworked my body infinitely ...
Fenton enjoyed his 'holiday' with us →
Fenton was picked up by dog trainer who gave him back to his lovely breeder, two amazing women who have supported us throughout the whole process.
He now lives in Saudi Arabia with an English family...
He now lives in Saudi Arabia with an English family...
I WILL have my Addison Dog.
But there is an enormous amount of things that needs to fall into place first, so we do not make the same mistake again. It burns deep in my soul that I had to give up having Fenton, he was a dream to have, and would have lent himself so well as a service dog...
Lucky for me, the coach and the association is not given up on me and we're looking after a dog. This time I will have a dog who is older, a dog that is not as dependent on me, i.e. one that can take care of me, instead I have to take care of it... Are you sitting with / or you know of one that makes you sit and think, well, IT is the perfect dog for Lisbeth, please write to me here...
I would like to write more about in particular how such a dog is trained, but for it to be absolutely correct, I will first ask the dog trainer if she has the time and energy to write a few lines about the process.
After I changed medicine this summer, It changed me incredibly very physical.
I do no longer use crutches or my walker.
I can now go up and down stairs, but mentally I can’t keep up.
So I struggle right now, to get my head to follow my body to where it is at now.
It is wonderful that I can suddenly do things again, I just can’t grasp the feeling mentally yet. But I do have faith that it will come soon.
I have all the grounds for success with the people I have in my life to support me, I'm sick, ~very sick. I have pain, ~a lot of pain
But there is an enormous amount of things that needs to fall into place first, so we do not make the same mistake again. It burns deep in my soul that I had to give up having Fenton, he was a dream to have, and would have lent himself so well as a service dog...
Lucky for me, the coach and the association is not given up on me and we're looking after a dog. This time I will have a dog who is older, a dog that is not as dependent on me, i.e. one that can take care of me, instead I have to take care of it... Are you sitting with / or you know of one that makes you sit and think, well, IT is the perfect dog for Lisbeth, please write to me here...
I would like to write more about in particular how such a dog is trained, but for it to be absolutely correct, I will first ask the dog trainer if she has the time and energy to write a few lines about the process.
After I changed medicine this summer, It changed me incredibly very physical.
I do no longer use crutches or my walker.
I can now go up and down stairs, but mentally I can’t keep up.
So I struggle right now, to get my head to follow my body to where it is at now.
It is wonderful that I can suddenly do things again, I just can’t grasp the feeling mentally yet. But I do have faith that it will come soon.
I have all the grounds for success with the people I have in my life to support me, I'm sick, ~very sick. I have pain, ~a lot of pain
But I am happy, ~very happy. 
PS: I can only recommend this Sealyham Terrier as a breed for everyone who wants a little fantastic clever, quiet and fun dog ... Especially the mental tranquility that is the breed, they are not wild and as active as many terrier breeds are. Fenton's pedigree name is Bussybuddy's Fenton and his breeder Susanne lives on Fyn (in Denmark).Fenton's Mom →
Fenton →
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